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ok seriously what do I need to do to get this to work? I think this is dmesg saying I have a sound card so idk what the problem is: https://gist.github.com/Aeva/426925f59689b337a9edc66dbefe2c92
I swear this was working before >:(
ok I'll bite what the fuck is a pipewire
why do they keep making new linux audio subsystems! it just makes the problem worse people D:<
is pipewire literally just "what if we just gave pulse audio all of jack's problems"?
Alright everyone, crisis averted. I fixed it by updating my time-honored Linux audio repair techinque of "uninstall pulseaudio" to "make sure that neither pulseaudio nor pipewire are installed".
The more things change the more they stay the same 
I personally blame KDE, or perhaps Lennart Poettering for this.
I realized just now that I broke this thread in a way that sea lions wouldn't be able to read it to the end, so if I don't know you and you're thinking something along the lines of "I need to tell her that audio works fine on linux or I will literally die" here's the end of the thread. I think you'll love it. https://mastodon.gamedev.place/@aeva/110252756335731681
@aeva I've had a quick glimpse at the pulseaudio source code at some point. It's quite good, actually.
My expectation therefore is that most problems with pulseaudio (or pipewire) are caused by the sound server from the previous user's session still running.
@aeva linux possesses no flaws aeva!!!