Dizzy, short of breath, staring off into the abyss, there is darkness all around, the silence is deafening, the ground is reverberating, an out of sync heart trying to find rhythm within it's chaotic beat, trembling hands and nervous feet, legs in pain and visions flowing like a hodgepodge film's cut together in random order, the hum of the refrigerator distracts from the randomness of the tv, stuck in a state of both aware and distantly dissociated, the annoyance of traffic going down the road, rumbles of thunder fading off into the distance, a hunger lingers in the stomach, between not really anything to eat and the lack of strength stuck sitting unable to move, another shooting pain through the body, the air conditioner kicks on, tossing a chilling sound into the chaotic mix, tired needing rest but a bed rocks and glass offer no comfort, try and stand, to weak to hold ones self up, slumping back in the chair, that has no comfort to its self, tingling fingers, cold toes, an erection that comes and goes, glasses slipping down my nose, if a dream was to be, a perpetual state of sleep I would be, thighs on fire arms of jelly, am I sitting here like this or is it all in my head, a single light is both dark and bright, people laughing on the tv, are they laughing at me, alone I am lost in my despair, am I clothed, naked or in my underwear, for what it matters I must be the only one talking to me;
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