As if this wasn't already bad enough, a small child cannonballed himself directly onto my broken foot last night and I'm pretty sure he erased over a month of healing in an instant.
Whose dog did I kick, I mean seriously. Life is just one gut punch after another lately.
I am so tired. So, so tired.
When you get right down to it, the pandemic experience is kind of an inverse monomyth in which we are called to stay the fuck home, avoid crossing thresholds, remain in entirely non-magical circumstances, are isolated from lovers, don't really grow or change, and are, at last, eager to return to normal life
Oh wow, I found some old pre-release footage of a story mode feature that we ended up cutting from Legacy of the Elder Star approximately one thousand years ago. I wish we'd had enough funding/runway to have fleshed out *this* version of the game!
I'm also not sure I've actually found the right community yet. I don't really mean the right *instance* (though that may be part of it) but it still kinda feels like we're all shouting past each other into the void.
I love making games but my day job these days is so demanding I just don't have any of that particular energy left by the end of the day. For my whole career I've tried to moonlight with indie stuff and I've finally reached a point where I just... can't. I *need* to switch into a totally different headspace outside of work. And frankly, I need less technology in my life, full stop.
I haven't written new music since doing the soundtrack for elderstargame.com FIVE YEARS AGO (what) and I have been *missing* it. I don't think I realized how much; I just got swept up in events and have been in a purely reactive mode for a long time, and more severely since 2020 kicked off.
But I ordered a new controller today and got my audio interface hooked back up and Reason updated again and I am *really* looking forward to getting back into this.
Noooooooo John Lewis died 😥
Game dev, music, anti-capitalism, and Monster Hunter. ❤️
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