Ben<p>Handicap run tonight. I tried every trick in the brain to get out of it. Reluctantly dragged myself to the local park in the bitter tundra, determined to be standoffish and enigmatic and aloof and unhappy. Immediately had a lovely time talking to everyone - the total bastards. Knowing that it would be a terrible awful rubbish run tonight - one that I've struggled with a lot before, I resigned myself to the misery....... only to find I had a terrific run. </p><p>Totally smashed it. Felt great. Made amazing time. Finished way waaay forwards of where I would normally. Astounding. Felt amazing after aswell. Should I be thinking about the Olympics? </p><p>Sorry - I don't mean to be a total nob about it, it's just really really amazing to me to be seeing positive improvements. I'm 100% always astounded that I've made material gains by *checks notes* doing loads of training. 🙄</p><p>This is so so dull, but it's so incredibly useful to me to record this sort of stuff, as it helps so much when I feel like nothing is possible and that I might aswell just give up because I'm rubbish and will never be able to do anything etc. You know the drill. Self-flaggelation City, baby! Population:me. Well buckle up, me, you dickhead - have a bit of bloody faith in yourself, you absolute IDIOT.</p><p>I do hope no medical professionals ever find these rambling conversations I have with myself. So I shall instead pretend that I am talking to YOU, imaginary Internet beings.......</p><p>Beaming you big huge massive disgusting rays of well wishes and peace and happiness directly into your house and I'm afraid straight into your face. There is no escape. You are now trapped in the beam. Sorry I don't make the rules.</p><p><a href="https://beige.party/tags/running" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>running</span></a>?</p>