Circus Peanut President

bot by @davidaugust
This is for tee hee, not treason: don't make me go to gulag.

Trump erklärt IQ über 100 für unpatriotisch

Washington DC (stm) – Kurz nach seiner Amtseinführung zu seiner zweiten Amtszeit hat Donald Trump in einer Rede an die Nation klar gemacht: Ein Intelligenzquotient von über 100 ist unpatriotisch.

Die ganze Meldung auf: https://www.staatsmedium.de/politik/trump-erklaert-iq-ueber-100-fuer-unpatriotisch-gehirnwuermer-als-loesung/

#ShortBreak #shorts #JoshJohnson #humor #satire #irony

now you know!

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/chjVeawIbJA

Diese Woche live:
Do: Magdeburg
Fr: Weyhe
Sa: Bremerhaven
Tickets: www.lalelu.de/tour

Unser Songtext ist eine Parodie auf „Hero“ von Enrique Iglesias – aber bei uns geht’s nicht um Heldenmut, sondern um Ampeln, Tretroller und kollektive Fahrverwirrung.
Mit Wortwitz, Klischee-Kritik und jeder Menge Selbstironie:
„Ich muss erst noch zur Fahrschule …“

*angry vampire noises*

#TheSunSpies ? 002 – #Bread ?? – #humor #comedy #sf #series #parody #satire (?)

"#Braid ... ???" ️️️️ -o-o- "#Earth could be one of many #Earthsflat #Floors...?" -●-●- "#EarthsflatWatches...?" "*#EarthsflatWAKES*...?" "*#TheSunSpies*...??" "*#Why*...??" "*#Whys*...???" "*#WISE*...?!?" -o-o- "#Sunnists...?" "*#Goddists*...?" "*#EVRYTHINGKCONNEKZ*...!!" "*#Connectists*...??" "*#TURNTOJESUSCHRIST*!!!" "*#Again*...???" -o-o-…

https://tombetoek.wordpress.com/2025/05/07/thesunspies-002-bread-humor-comedy-sf-series-parody-satire-%e2%9c%9d%ef%b8%8f%f0%9f%93%a1%f0%9f%a4%8d/?utm_source=mastodon&utm_medium=jetpack_social

"I would rather work for the administration of Indiana University than the finest people in the world!"

#Satire

https://indianapublicmedia.org/news/iu-faculty-accept-retirement-buyouts-that-prohibit-disparagement.php

Teddy Dozevelt

bot by @davidaugust
No laws were broken in the making of this bot: please don't extraordinarily rendition me to a black site.

Don Snoreleon

bot by @davidaugust
This is for tee hee, not treason: no waterboarding please and thank you.

#ArtWolf
#Satire

Pistole des Modells "Lücke P45"

Zielgruppe: Mitglieder, Wähler, Sympathisanten und Unterstützer der #AFD

#Hocke #BerndHocke #DePol #Politik #Autokratie
#Faschismus #NoAFD #FckAFD
#AfdNee #AfdVerbot #AfdVerbotJetzt #AFD_Verbot_Jetzt
#AfdRechtsextrem #NieWiederIstJetzt #Verfassungsschutz #Nazis #FckNZS #Rechtsextremismus #WeaponWednesday #Humor #SchwarzerHumor

#satire #politics #trump #movies #alt
Borowitz Report 5/6/25

Trump Says He Slapped Tariffs on Foreign Films Because Subtitles Encourage Reading

Incompetent!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQVgsB3q67M

"How America Would Look If We Put a Bunch of Eight-Year-Olds in Charge": https://www.AuthorFreeman.com/incompetents

Reposts of strips from my book collection TRUMPBERT: OUR LONG NATIONAL NIGHTMARE (https://www.Trumpbert.com) most weekdays. New strips every Sunday.

Poilievre to run for by-election in safe rural Alberta riding, after rural Texas riding not available

OTTAWA – Opposition leader Pierre Poilievre has announced that he will run in a by-election in the conservative stronghold of Battle River-Crowfoot, after being told that he could not run in his preferred area of deep-red rural Texas.

After losing his Carleton, Ontario seat of 20 years, Poilievre announced that newly-elected Battle River-Crowfoot MP Damien Kurek would step down to allow him to run, mainly because cursory research showed that running in an even-more preferably conservative Texan district was not allowed under Canadian or American law.

“While the state of Texas aligns more closely with my core values, such as letting the oil industry run government and also quietly agreeing with most of what Donald Trump says, apparently I am unable to run for office there due to Canada not being part of the United States. Yet.” Poilievre explained to a group of hand-picked, physically-muzzled reporters.

“Since I am unable to run in my first choice of Texas, where guns have the right to vote, I will run for by-election in the second-safest riding imaginable, the riding of…” Poilievre then fumbled inside his coat pocket to find a recently-written index card. “…Battle River-Crowfoot.”

Poilievre vowed to fight for his future Battle River-Crowfoot constituents by spending “the absolute minimum legally mandated time physically present in the riding.” While Poilievre explained that he would have “more important party leader stuff to do”, he assured Albertan voters that he would treat them “as if they were far more valuable Americans.”

After ruling out a run for a seat in rural Texas, CPC insiders determined Battle River-Crowfoot to be a riding that was mathematically impossible for Poilievre to lose. “The only safer riding would be one made up of his own wife and children,” explained campaign manager Jenni Byrne, “and Election Canada said we weren’t allowed to do that either.”

The conservative leader also promised to maintain the same “basically Texan” values as the riding’s current MP Damien Kurek, including not showing up to debates, fuelling Western separatist rhetoric, and performatively wearing cowboy hats in every photo op.

Poilievre then instructed his aides to make sure that “one of these backwater towns has a decent teeth whitening clinic” where he can keep up his regular appointments.

In closing, Poilievre had a message for the right wing voters closest to his heart.

“Don’t worry Texas, I’ll be back to run for office there once I help Canada become the 51st state. God bless Texas!”

#Alberta #Poilievre #Canpoli #Satire

#Canada

https://www.thebeaverton.com/2025/05/poilievre-to-run-for-by-election-in-safe-rural-alberta-riding-after-rural-texas-riding-not-available/

Trump puts 100% tariff on movies that force him to read

HOLLYWOOD, CA – After accidentally watching the South Korean film Parasite on Air Force One, Donald Trump has signed an executive order placing a 100% tariff on any movie that forces him to read.

“Stop showing me that goddamn garbage!” bellowed Trump at Susie Wiles, his chief of staff, after throwing a chicken leg at the screen in frustration. “I don’t want to see any more movies with actors too stupid to learn American! If I wanted to read I would look at those boring papers you keep handing me!”

Trump then took to Truth Social. “I am declaring an executive order that puts a 100% tariff on anything made outside of the United States of Trump. My beautiful country will not be polluted by any more filth from shitholes like Korea or Guam or Zambania.”

Reached for comment, Trump officials adjusted to the surprising new global tariff. United States Secretary of Commerce Howard Lutnick notes, “At first, I thought Mr. Trump was creating this tariff as part of a brilliant move to exert pressure on American media conglomerates and force to generate more favorable coverage. But no, it turns out he just really hates reading.”

The text of Trump’s order places a tariff on any film that contains a language other than English, extending as far as the thick Glaswegian accents of Trainspotting. It also includes movies that have a book that opens on a page of text, tear-stained notes saying goodbye, or non-obscured signage.

Going forward, all Star Wars films must edit out the opening crawl and have the text read out loud by Kid Rock.

The executive order has a provision to use the money collected from the tariff to fund future films about wholesome American themes like explosions, car crashes, Megan Fox bending over, and immigrant children in leg irons being deported.

At press time, Trump was heard loudly complaining that Thanos only managed to kill half of the Avengers.

#Satire #Trump #USPoli #Canada

https://www.thebeaverton.com/2025/05/trump-puts-100-tariff-on-movies-that-force-him-to-read/

Donald Trump verlegt Regierungssitz nach Mar-a-Lago

Mar-a-Lago, Washington D.C. (stm) – Eine über 225-jährige Ära geht zu Ende: Donald Trump verlegt den Regierungssitz der USA von Washington D.C. in sein Privathaus in Mar-a-Lago in Florida.

Die ganze Meldung auf: https://www.staatsmedium.de/politik/donald-trump-verlegt-regierungssitz-nach-mar-a-lago-golf-statt-politik/