Ray of Sickness, #ToddlerDnD edition:
Casting time: immediate
Range: the whole family
Components: verbal
Duration: the next 2 weeks
Verbal components that automatically cast this spell:
"Hey, we haven't been sick for almost a week!"
"Only two more days and we are visiting Grandma!
"Yes, we are going to the birthday party this weekend!"
"It has been rough, but I finally booked that weekend getaway we have been planning!"
"I have a very important meeting tomorrow."
#ToddlerDnD fact: Naptime is one action.
You have a choice of the following options while the kid is out:
- Do a chore
- Inhale your food
- Stare vacantly into space
- Scroll through social media platform of choice
- Curl into a ball and cry
- Have a WhatsApp convo with friend
- Nap and regret
- Watch the clock as the minutes tick down
- Try to read
- Devour secret snack
"I rolled a Nat 20 for searching the room!"
"Awesome! You found 345 hair clips, 143 hair ties, 3 missing puzzle pieces, 5.5 Barbie shoes, 37 socks, and 4 nose spray caps."
"And the toy I was looking for?"
"Nope, sorry."
The Healing Spell components you have:
- Vitamin C
- Vitamin D
- aspirin
- herbal tea
- honey
- tissues
- throat losenge
- sheer force of will
- tearful prayers to the gods
- ginger shot
The Healing Spell components you would actually need:
- 7 days of uninterrupted long rest
Actions that provoke an immediate Attack of Opportunity from a Toddler class creature (when said creature has Condition: Sick):
- Offering medicine for their pain
- Offering to help them clean their airways
- Offering food
- Offering drink
- Offering other type of food
- Offering other type of drink
- Approaching with medicine-shaped object
- Suggesting more sleep
It's rough to be a Cleric in this party.
#ToddlerDnD Wild Magic:
Verbal component: "Now I finally have some time to get back to my hobbies!"
Effect: Immediate routine breaking event selected from the random table below with a D12 roll
1. Ear infection
2. Tonsillitis
3. Head lice
4. PTA conflict
5. Skipping naps
6. Family holiday
7. Ear infection again
8. The poops
9. Can't sleep won't sleep
10. Childhood illness
11. Kindergarten break
12. More lice
@TarkabarkaHolgy Does this have anyhing to do with #ToddlerDnD by any chance? :)
Seasonal Spells for #ToddlerDnD
Toddler's Vicious Snot: This spell initially impacts the member of the party with the lowest HP. It lasts for 2 days. After that it affects all other members of the party, is immune to Healing, and you need a 20+ Con saving throw to recover from it.
Fall Back: This spell interrupts the target's Long Rest one hour too soon. Every time. For about two weeks.
Toddler's Disappearing Accessories: This spell affects hats, gloves, scarves, and boots.
#ToddlerDnD
Spells I would like to learn:
Dress Toddler: cantrip that replaces Pajamas with Outside Clothes instantly
Clean Sidewalk: Prestidgitation for the meltdown area, including soundproofing
Find Toy: the one that is immediately needed at bedtime even though we have not played with it for months
Remove the Ew: makes all the "ew" bits disappear from the plate of food (e.g. the shredded cheese from the spaghetti)
Sleep
#ToddlerDnD Spell: Cleansing of Hands
Components:
- Material: Copious amounts of soap
- Verbal: I DO IT ALONE!
- Somatic: Wave hands in the general direction of water without actually touching it. Let soap drip down, then wave hands under water without rubbing, or washing off soap.
Casting time: 5 sec to eterinty
Duration: 1-3 min (until next encounter with difficult terrain, food, or small creature)
Effect: Toddler hands are clean on a spiritual level. Parent gets -2 Wisdom.
#ToddlerDnD
"Sometimes you have to let the kids get Bored, it's good for their creativity!"
Bored condition for Toddler class:
- Casting Violent Scream is now a cantrip
- Gains a level in Artist with a specialization in Wall Drawing
- Gains reistsance to Power Word NO
- No check needed for finding traps as long as you immediately spring them
- Sibling Toddlers automatically Rage
Parental Short Rest:
- Parent regains 0 HP
- Parent temporarily loses 5 points in Wisdom
#ToddlerDnD
Bedtime Disengage. Roll D20.
Nat 1: You fell asleep. Kid left the room.
2-5: You peek. Child is staring back at you like a tarsier.
6-10: You make a move. Child grabs onto a facial feature of choice.
11-15: Leaving the room you step on a toy. Child bolts.
16-19: You make it to the door when a tiny voice calls you back.
Nat 20: You leave the room. Kid's still asleep. Your remaining Adult Brain Function is hours equal to your Con modifier. Halved. Rounded down.
#ToddlerDnD loot for parents:
Sand Shoes: bonus action to put on when the child bolts from the sandbox
Sturdini: sturdy swimwear that can't be unlaced, untied, unclipped, yanked up or yanked down easily
Safe Jewelry: can't be torn off, slipped off, or swallowed by Small creatures and yet adds Charisma bonus
Bottomless Coffee Bottle: can be opened and closed with one hand, comes with Mage Hand while pushing a stroller
#ToddlerDnD
Side quests for the campaign titled Deep Cleaning Your Kid's Room:
- Find Paddington's hat (DC 15)
- Find BOTH birds missing from the bird memory card set (not the same bird) (DC 25)
- Sort the Peppa puzzle pieces from the Little Mole puzzle pieces (DC 15). Sort the Little Mole in the Spring puzzle pieces from the Little Mole in the Summer puzzle pieces (DC 30).
- Decide what to do with all 546 unique crayon drawings (DC 30)
#ToddlerDnD
"Your toddler skipped a sleep" dungeon design:
1. Everyone has Bardic Inspiration and Haste.
2. Mushroom forest. Everyone is high and everything is funny. Encounter table includes Teletubbies and Peppa.
3. Random encounters. Just. RANDOM.
4. WELCOME TO THE SLUMBERDOME! Two players enter. One stays awake.
5. Demonic possession. Party tries to perform exorcism with soft toys, lavender scent, and prayer.
6. Roll Stealth to get out of the room. If fail, start over.
@scribblemacher @hk @RufuScott I feel this deserves to be cross-linked with #ToddlerDnD
Bedtime actions for Monk class toddlers:
Akimbo Attack: hits 4 different targets at the same time. Damage 1d6 each.
Compass of Comfort: toddler spins horizontally, with head and feet striking in cardinal directions. Some of those directions are the attending parent's chin, stomach, and private parts.
Rotisserie Escape: twisting out of restraints while twirling.
Projectile V: bonus action, ranged attack. Always catches the target flat-footed and prone.
For your next adventure, design a dungeon based on a Children's Day open air event!
Petting Zoo: You are in a pit. 2d10 Huge creatures are trying to aggressively pet you.
Face Painting: Roll Dex and Athletics to paint the required symbols on a Small moving target.
Bouncy Castle: Enter a swarm of Raging Small Creatures on Difficult Terrain. Good luck.
Candy Booth: Your Small Creature now has 1d6 hours of unlimited Dash actions and Bardic Inspiration.
@LilithElina @TarkabarkaHolgy Clearly the d20 wins over the d10.
@TarkabarkaHolgy thank you for introducing me to #ToddlerDnD
Mind Spike: a spell that deals excruciating psychic damage from a distance. Damage increases 1d8 with every level. Available to Warlocks, Sorcerers, and Wizards.
Parental Mind Spike: as above, but reserved for parents who are trying to put the toddler to sleep when someone revvs a car engine and blasts music outside.
Damage increases 1d20 with every hour kid has been awake. Also, it's a cantrip now.
Don't say I didn't warn you. 
#parenting #DnD #ToddlerDnD
