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#lovelife

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Crissy Geco 🇨🇦🏳️‍🌈🇵🇭

Ever felt confused, frustrated, or even a little heartbroken by the #dating scene? I've been there!

Dating. It's supposed to be fun, right? A chance to connect, share adventures, and maybe find your forever person. But let's be real, it can also be a rollercoaster of emotions.

Here's the good news: you can take control of your #lovelife and create a fulfilling connection. It starts with understanding #attachment styles – those often-unconscious patterns from childhood that shape how we bond.

In this post, we'll break down the different styles, explore why avoidant types (especially Dismissive Avoidants) can bring more heartache than harmony, and I'll share my own journey with intentional dating to attract the love we all truly deserve.

Ready to level up your love life and manifest your dream relationship? Let's dive in!

substack.com/@crissygeco/note/

SubstackCrissy Geco on SubstackIntentional Dating: Level Up Your Love Life (Crissy Edition!) Tired of dating games that lead nowhere? Me too! Secure people don't just stumble into love; they design it with clear standards. Date with Purpose: You're actively building a future, not just swiping. Whether your goal is marriage or a committed long-term thing, you're playing to win. Values Matter: Honesty, respect, and open communication are the foundation of a rock-solid partnership. They're non-negotiable. Speak Your Truth: You're not scared to ask for what you need, set boundaries, and express your desires. To set the stage for healthy relationships, it's crucial to understand attachment styles and their impact on our connections. Why Avoidants Are A NOPE (And Attachment Styles 101) Dating should be fun, but avoidant attachment styles, especially dismissive avoidants (DAs), often bring heartache. Understanding attachment styles can prevent pain: Secure: The goal! Comfortable with intimacy and independence, trusting, and communicative. Anxious Preoccupied (AP): Craves closeness, fears rejection, may be clingy. Dismissive Avoidant (DA): Values self-sufficiency, suppresses emotions, avoids intimacy. Fearful Avoidant (FA): Wants love but fears hurt, causing a push-pull dynamic. The DA Disaster: Run! DAs often cause pain because: Hot-and-Cold Behavior: Their inconsistency messes with your head. Wound Re-Openers: They trigger deep insecurities. Eroded Trust: They erode trust and self-esteem. Commitment Fear: They often bail at the thought of long-term commitment. Self-Sabotage: They may self-sabotage to avoid vulnerability. FA vs. DA DA: Avoids closeness, seems emotionless, prioritizes independence. FA: Craves love but fears rejection, causing emotional chaos. DA's distance is particularly damaging. Pairing & Healing Dynamics FA/DA + AP Pairing: Anxious types often find themselves drawn to avoidants, creating a painful cycle. Secure Partners Can Help Heal: Securely attached people can help others heal. Growth Is Possible: All styles can change with effort and self-awareness. Love Isn't Enough: Healthy relationships need work and communication. Trauma Bonds: Red Alert! Dating avoidants can lead to trauma bonds: unhealthy, addictive attachments from inconsistency or manipulation. They trap you in toxic situations and destroy self-worth. Crissy's Approach: Manifesting Bae/Boo Here's my approach to attracting my dream partner: I'm open to receiving love, but I don't chase it. I focus on my passions: tennis, writing, and personal growth. Therapy helped me identify a pattern: my warmth sometimes attracts avoidant types (FA, DA) and the occasional AP. With that in mind, here's the kind of partner I'm manifesting: The Power Couple Builder: "Seeking a partner to co-create an epic love story! I desire unwavering loyalty, mutual respect, and unstoppable communication." The Adventure Bae: "Calling all fun-loving souls! I want a kind, smart partner for spontaneous adventures, cuddles, and deep conversations." The Creative Muse: "Dreaming of a partner who gets my creative spirit and shares laughter, passion, and art." The Spicy Soulmate: "Ready for a passionate, fulfilling connection! I seek a loyal, communicative partner who values both emotional and physical intimacy." The Secure Soulmate: "I'm looking for someone Securely Attached, valuing intimacy and independence without fear of commitment or vulnerability." My Verdict: Choose Wisely, Love Intentionally! Dating dismissive avoidants is rarely worth the emotional devastation. It's exhausting, and while change is possible, it demands immense effort and self-awareness. Let's prioritize our emotional well-being and seek partners ready for secure, healthy, and drama-free love. Remember, you deserve a relationship that uplifts and empowers you. Don't settle for anything less! #IntentionalDating #AttachmentStyles #HealthyRelationships
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